Setting boundaries

Who here can hold up their hand and honestly say they have strong and healthy boundaries with others? It can be far easier for people to knock our boundaries down than for us to put them up in the first place.

Today’s oracle card shows a woman standing in a vast desert. She holds her hands out to the sides as if trying to keep something away when, all around, various hands are reaching out towards her.

On a closer look at the card, there is a crown shape around her head and her expression is calm, peaceful and relaxed. Despite the attempts to get across her boundaries, she has got this sorted!

If you are sensitive to the needs of others, caring and empathic, you may tend to give more than you receive. With friends you might find that you spend more time listening to their problems than they do with you. This could sometimes leave you feeling drained of energy.

It’s like a pendulum that swings back and forth. Ideally it would be in the middle with an equal amount of give and take. A healthy balance of communication. But if that pendulum keeps swinging too far one way, it might be time to start setting boundaries.

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others“

Brene Brown

If a friend has a problem, for example, as a caring soul you might want to fix things. To try and solve the issue. But that isn’t always possible. Perhaps there is a way to be there for them but make sure your own battery isn’t completely drained in the process.

Similarly, perhaps you feel put upon, where another person keeps asking you to do things. Over time, you could start to feel slightly resentful and taken advantage of. But you keep quiet and bottle your emotions up, not wanting to cause a scene.

“The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none“

Unknown

Don’t feel guilty if you need to set up boundaries, in whatever situation you are in. By honouring your feelings and striking a healthy balance of your own and others needs, you show you have respect and love for yourself, and will be in a better headspace to help when someone needs it.